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As the eldest of 4 children, the daughter of a Hollywood socialite and hotel mogul, Paris Hilton has always been destined for greatness. Though her bloodline told us one story, her reality is what sets her apart from the rest. A club kid, a new aged socialite, a muse and an icon, Paris Hilton took a sex tape, a dumb blonde image, coined a phrase and turned it into a multi-million dollar business. Now, that’s hot!

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“The Hills” was a reality show that was not-so-based in reality! Re-watch some of the best and worst moments of an MTV show that changed the reality format forever. From the unraveling of Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag’s friendship, the wrath of Spencer Pratt, the toxic relationship that was Audrina Patridge and Justin Bobby, Brody Jenner’s drama stirring skills and the return of Kristin Cavallari.

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On the latest episode of So 2000 & Late, I do a deep dive on the history of TRL - best moments, Times Square, the VJs and so much more. With Carson Daly at its center for most of its run, teenagers from all around ran home every day to participate in something that they had a part in making. They couldn’t drive, vote for the president or even drink, but they could help their favorite artist hit number one.

Looking back at TRL all these years later, I sit here happy for Carson Daly. Of all the moments that happened on camera, of all the careers that TRL launched, of all the fans that it gathered, this show, to me, is a proof that Carson believed in the power of music, live performances and the love of the process. Between the radio, MTV, a late night show and a current career at NBC’s Today Show, Carson has always put music at the forefront of what he does. Talking to these artists one on one was something we got from music magazines like Rolling Stone, but seeing them on the screen or getting a chance to see them in person, changed the landscape for fans and their relationship with their favorite artist.

These days MTV gets a lot of shit for not playing music videos all day long but I might have to stick up for them right now…it had to adjust with the times. Music videos was not paying the bills but Unplugged and Beavis and Butthead were sill music central and TRL was adding to that. Music videos were being played here people! TRL was just giving us a variety, so think of it as music videos+.

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Getting your favorite artist to number one was all on you. That meant that if you were a real fan, you are going to call in and cast your vote. If the video made it to number one, you can rest easy at night that you contributed to that. Taking the lead from shows like Star Search or American Bandstand, TRL was the first to take votes from outside of the studio. Fans would call in and cast their votes; sparking shows after it to do the same and later adopting text, online voting and social media polls as ways to contribute to the final results. (People just want to be included!) Kelly Clarkson has Americans around the US who take stock in her career because they voted for her to win American Idol.

Early adaptors of TRL had the most successful careers during the 2000s; Britney Spears, N’Sync, Backstreet Boys and Christina Aguilera all boomed during this era. We ate all of it up too! Britney actually became the queen of the show, getting thousands of fans flocking to Times Square. The NYPD would ask her and the others acts not to walk up to the infamous windows for fear of commotion in the streets; Times Square has cars driving through after all! Our favorite stars would be invited back for specials episodes for the New Year or Spring Break and you’d still get a performance!

As a TV Producer, I now look at this show as such a genius variety live experience for the in-studio fans and the ones watching at home. Artist would pickup calls from the hotline and talk to fans, they had live in-studio performances, the artist photobooth and eventually an MTV Store was added downstairs to get one of a kind swag. The VJ’s became household names that also threw the mic to fans so they can get their pressing question in from the audience or from down on the streets. Celebs would come and guest host — hell, Diddy ran the city from the TRL studios! He trained for the NYC Marathon on there and held the first Making the Band 3 auditions for the future Danity Kane on the show.

TRL was a place for pop culture lovers to unite. A sure place for teenagers to get their voices heard and also, just really damn fun!

Tell me about your favorite moments from the show below and check out this episode and more of So 2000 & Late on Substack.

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That’s what kept running through my mind as I re-watched the first and second seasons of MTV’s The Newlyweds starring Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. With a seven-year age difference between them, the pressure to remain a virgin until marriage, and the spotlight of pop stardom; were Nick and Jessica doomed from the start?

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On the latest episode of my podcast, So 2000 & Late, I covered the happy times of Nick and Jessica’s journey into married life. The Newlyweds was one of the first celebrity reality series to come out of MTV, drawing in 8 million viewers a week at its peak.

Nick and Jessica had been dating for a few years before they tied the knot, so it wasn’t exactly a rushed wedding - but I will say it was definitely rushed horniness. Jessica met Nick at a Christmas party when she was 18 and he was 25. They dated for a while, but there was just one little thing that wasn’t happening… sex. Her record label wanted her to stand out from the other pop stars of the time. We already had Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, we didn’t need another one of those. We needed someone more angelic, a little less sexpot, and, of course, sprinkle in virginity. Unlike Miss Britney and definitely unlike X-Tina, Jessica was actually telling the truth when she told the press she was saving herself for marriage.

What makes it all more interesting is that once they got married in 2002, they moved in together for the first time and invited cameras into their home less than a year later. I can only imagine what their PR teams and agents were saying — “This will be great for your careers!” And remember, this was pre-sex-tape-for-fame era, so that wasn’t even on the table. But what unfolded made for great TV. We saw them out of glam, in their natural habitats, building a new life together while doing both everyday and celebrity things. Nick was launching a solo career post 98 Degrees, while Jessica was working on her second album and amping up the sex appeal in her public image.

Now, we can’t talk about this show without mentioning the “Is it chicken or is it fish?” moment.

That was episode one! The first scene, right after the beautiful wedding montage. She unknowingly led the wave of “dumb blonde” moments on reality TV. Paris and Nicky on The Simple Life came after this. And to be fair, the can does say “Chicken of the Sea!” Watching it now, I realize this was also the beginning of the end for their marriage. As fresh as everything seemed, moments like that visibly wore Nick down.

Personally, I was more transfixed by her lack of life skills. Call it trauma, call it PTSD but I’ve lived through a relationship like this. Nick had life skills. He wasn’t a teenager when his pop career started, unlike Jessica. He had chores, responsibilities, basic domestic knowledge. But I can’t even blame teen stardom alone. Jessica’s mom was an enabler, literally offering to clean up after her in her own home. This became a big issue in their marriage. Jessica explained that she’d been on the road since she was 14, living in hotels and never needing to clean up after herself. And it showed! Clothes, shoes, dishes, food, and cups were everywhere.

She also wasn’t 100% confident in herself during the marriage. In later years, Jessica opened up about struggling with an eating disorder and eventually alcoholism. But the early signs were visible on the show. When Nick was auditioning backup dancers, she was clearly uncomfortable with them touching him. She watched them like a hawk, jealous that it was even happening. She bought sexy lingerie and mentioned several times that she needed to “spice things up” for Nick. For his 30th birthday, she hired, and performed with, the then-not-so-famous Pussycat Dolls, even though they were the same women hired to dance all over her husband in earlier episodes.

Maybe I’m projecting some of my own experiences onto their relationship, but I can see and empathize both of them; dealing with someone who has no life skills AND not trusting what I bring to the relationship is enough.

That said, The Newlyweds was feel-good TV. Jessica was funny! She had plenty of “chicken or fish”-style moments. She famously said she doesn’t eat buffalo, that she’s scared of water and whales, and tried to join Nick on outdoorsy activities like camping and fishing (in Uggs, of course!) She was definitely a girly girl.

We also got to see a young Ashlee Simpson, the early stages of Jessica’s multi-million-dollar fashion empire (edible lotion) and the real struggle of being a recording artist (remember the scene where her label told her she “over-sang” her single?).

As amazing and iconic as the show was, and as much as we rooted for our favorite TV couple, they didn’t last. Their MTV contract outlived their marriage. After three years, three seasons, and a million little reasons, Nick and Jessica called it quits. Jessica later said she was shocked. She thought they’d be married forever. But when Nick demanded the settlement amount he did, it hurt even more…$12 million worth of it. Looking up their net worth’s at the time says it all: Jessica was worth $35M, and Nick was under $5M. Oof. What makes it even messier is that she only got more successful after the breakup; her fashion and merch empire is now worth over $200 million.

But I guess Nick “won” the emotional chess match. He cast his now-wife, and former MTV TRL VJ, Vanessa Minnillo in a music video that was clearly meant to represent Jessica. So0oo 2000s! Justin Timberlake pulled the same move on Britney.

No matter how it ended, this show was perfect for its time. If The Osbournes was the hardcore rock-and-roll love story, Nick and Jessica were the Barbie and Ken counterpart. Not to mention the cameos from pop culture tastemakers like Robin Antin and Ashlee Simpson.

You can relive all the best moments, and more 2000s nostalgia, on my weekly podcast So 2000 & Late, with new episodes dropping every Throwback Thursday! Listen anywhere you get podcasts and watch it exclusively on Spotify. Let me know some of your favorite Newlyweds moments in the comments 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽

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The stars of MTV’s Rich Girls, Ally Hilfiger and Jamie Gleicher, weren’t just lucky because they were living out all of our rich NYC dreams and they were also fortunate enough to capture a slice of life none of us can get back: the summer between high school graduation and the first semester of college. Adulthood was just around the corner, and independence was in the air. Parties, boys, travel, beach getaways and of course, shopping!

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On the latest episode of So 2000 & Late, I jog all of our memories of this iconic show by the original rich girls of reality television. It happened so fast, you might’ve thought it was a fever dream. Ally and Jamie may have been teenagers, but they were already living the Sex & the City life every native or transplant New Yorker dreams of.

Ally and Jamie, from episode one, were icons. They’re in a stretch limousine, smoking cigarettes, complaining about prom. They’ve got their leather jackets, cargo pants (did you know Ally’s dad invented them?) Yankee fitted hats, sunglasses, high heels, and designer bags to prove how little this part of high school meant to them. They went to lunch with a family friend/designer and then went shopping. Prom was a total afterthought—even though it was the whole reason they left the house. BTW, this shopping spree was a couple thousand per girl.

While every other American teenager was actually stressing about prom — the date, the dress, the limo, the after-party, these ladies gave zero fucks.

As the series goes on, we learn that even though they’re rich, they still deal with normal teenage problems: boys, fear of growing up, virginity, going away to school, jealousy, that “what’s next?” feeling. No amount of money can take away those universal fears of the human experience.

Jamie and Ally lived on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, in luxurious apartments right by Central Park. They took taxis everywhere and shopped till they dropped in almost every episode. I loved it for being unapologetically 2000s. The flip phones, the fashion, the first GPS, the luxury cars and dinners. It was everything! They even unexpectedly caught the 2003 NYC blackout while filming. And what did Ally do…? Shop!

Ally and Jamie, to me, didn’t seem like likely friends. Ally was more bohemian and very laid-back, while Jamie was high-anxiety and an overachiever (she was working on a book!). Ally liked to go with the flow and was comfortable making a decision and later changing her mind. Jamie was loyal to her word and didn’t appreciate when Ally flip-flopped. Queue their trip to Greece! The girls were supposed to join a friend but talked themselves out of it due to feeling homesick. Then they decided to go to London instead, and while there, Ally changed her mind and decided she did want to go to Greece. Jamie, my fellow RBF girlie, could not hide her feelings about Ally’s change of heart…lit cigarette and all!

What I also found interesting was how close Jamie was with her mother. Ally even seemed closer to Jamie’s side of the family than her own. We were, of course, graced by the presence of Tommy Hilfiger a few times, but it really seemed like Jamie’s mother was the only consistent parental figure around. Jamie’s aunt was also very present in the girls' lives. They visited her and had a fun night of singing, trying on clothes, expensive jewelry, and sipping wine—perfect girl fun.

When Ally’s father did appear, their interactions mostly revolved around fashion. He wanted her opinion on Hilfiger’s new line, helped her organize her closet, and eventually gave her a job working under the brand. But there were no heart-to-hearts or “loving” moments caught on camera. (He did practically have a heart attack any time she wore Ralph Lauren, it’s pretty funny.) There was a moment where Ally freaked out about her future and called him to express her fears, but that’s as far as it went. Chalk it up to privacy or being busy, but Tommy Hilfiger was very personable on camera, so I’m not sure. Maybe this distance was by choice? Ally and Jamie were producers of the show, after all.

What really made me laugh was the ongoing conversation about wanting to do philanthropic work in Ethiopia. It was such a White Chicks moment, way before the movie even came out. They talked about wanting to go and help, watched a documentary, brainstormed fundraising ideas, talked about how awful the situation was… and then had a private yoga session while the chef prepared lunch. The contradiction of it all is pure comedy and made for great television for us normies.

The girls’ friendship eventually came to an end as they transitioned into the next phase of life, which could also explain why the show only lasted one season. Knowing what we know now, a second season might’ve painted them in a bad light. Jamie went to rehab for an eating disorder, and Ally was later diagnosed with Lyme disease (a popular illness among the rich who frequent heavily wooded places (i.e., the Hamptons)) which she attributed to her up-and-down behavior on the show. Jamie’s Type A personality and Ally’s laid-back approach to life were bound to clash. And that’s the one thing these real rich girls, and other shows like them, don’t do: fight on camera!

This show was the first of its kind. It walked so The Simple Life could run. Our obsession with Rich Girls will never die, as long as they continue to be fabulously unrelatable on camera. Help me visualize the life I hope to live someday, one flip phone breakdown at a time.

—

Written by Teona Sasha

Listen to So 2000 & Late wherever you get your podcasts, and watch it exclusively on Spotify. New episodes every Throwback Thursday!

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The pilot episode of this series is one of the best I’ve seen in reality TV. A soft-voiced Sharon Osbourne explains that she’s “no Mother Teresa” — cut to footage of them screaming “fuck you” at each other, Ozzy mumbling, and Jack and Kelly constantly bickering. Just like any other typical family. Sure, they have a gothic house design with crucifixes everywhere, dark colors, black curtains, and painted walls, but that doesn’t mean they’re not like the rest of us.

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The show captures the everyday lives of the family as they transition from England to LA, navigating their 20-something move to a brand-new house, new surroundings, and a new town for the kids to explore. Over the four seasons, we witness Ozzy’s ambition and hard work, Jack trying to make a name for himself in the industry, Kelly testing out a singing career, and Sharon holding it all together. But the through-line here is the strength of the family unit. They were close…super close. Like, take-the-kids-on-tour close.

What I really loved about the show was how Sharon and Ozzy raised their kids—with love and the belief that you don’t turn your back on family, no matter what. When Kelly shows her mother the fake ID she uses to get into LA clubs, Sharon doesn’t blow up. Instead, she tells her it looks good but warns that she could get arrested for using it, so be careful. My mother would’ve yanked that thing away and slapped me in one motion. That would never have flown in my house!

The cursing eventually becomes normal. Thankfully, most of the rewatch wasn’t riddled with bleeps, but let me tell you your average person would definitely clutch their pearls if their kids spoke like this. In the Osbourne household, it didn’t matter. Even the nanny cursed! One of my favorite scenes is them sitting around the table for Christmas dinner while Kelly and Jack argue about whether she told him to take the stick or the dick out of his ass. No lecture about language, because their own dad curses like a sailor. In the very first episode, Ozzy is struggling with a new house remote and asks Jack if there’s a “blowjob” button on it. Oh, Ozzy!

Before the show, Ozzy was already a legend: frontman of Black Sabbath, leader of Ozzfest, and the guy who bit the head off a bat, forever known as the Prince of Darkness. But with cameras on him during downtime, we saw what he was really like and he was fucking hilarious! The mumbling, the cursing, the dogs pooping everywhere, his hatred for vacuuming — it all made for priceless reality TV. He had typical dad moments, too: fighting teenagers, a wife who liked to shop, and feeling outnumbered at times.

But Ozzy was a great dad. When Kelly got her first tattoo, instead of flipping out, he told her she had to tell Sharon. He called Sharon himself, explained the situation, and even defended Kelly, saying it was just a tiny heart and could’ve been worse. Ozzy and Jack bonded over their love of history, often watching The History Channel together. When Sharon was overwhelmed with the kids, he’d step in to mediate (as much as anyone can with teenagers). And when Sharon was diagnosed with cancer, we saw Ozzy’s softer side — he’d call from the road to say he missed her, and even cried when saying goodbye.

Watching the kids come into their own was also a highlight. Jack signed a band to a label early on and later helped Kelly land her own record deal. Her punk-rock debut was a cover of Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” — a pink-and-black oasis of badassery that earned her a performance spot at that year’s MTV Video Music Awards.

Yes, they dealt with drug issues and stints in rehab, but Sharon and Ozzy never gave up on their kids. They would’ve been hypocrites if they had; both had their own struggles with substance abuse. Not everyone has a family that sticks by them when they succumb to the pressures of sex, drugs, and alcohol, especially growing up in Hollywood with total access. Honestly, one of the Addams kids would’ve been in the same boat if they were portrayed as adults!

The show ended partly due to shifts in reality TV and partly because the family was exhausted from having cameras around. But The Osbournes will always be a classic. Every now and then, I still scream “Shhhharon!” just to channel my inner Ozzy. The family remains close to this day—and they even have a podcast. Check it out if you’re in the mood to hear a bloody curse or two.

The generation that started the church of celebrity worship was craving shows that gave a deeper, messier look into the lives of the rich and famous. Riding the heatwave of Ashton Kutcher’s success on That ’70s Show, MTV aimed to create a show that put Kutcher and his team of comics at the forefront of pulling practical jokes on people.

Originally, Punk’d was meant to target everyday folks, but after a prank went too far (cue lawsuit), the producers pivoted to zeroing in on celebrities instead.

Going through the original run of the series for my latest episode of the So 2000 & Late podcast, I walked away thinking, “Wow, this show really set the bar.” Then immediately after, I wondered, “Were we supposed to feel bad for these celebs getting inconvenienced for funzies?”

The 2000s were a time of reality TV personality excess. The formula? Throw the wildest walks of life on camera and watch them dig their own graves of “candid camera” moments we’d all talk and laugh about later.

Punk’d walked a fine line — pushing celebs but never fully humiliating them… I mean, these were Ashton’s friends for f*ck’s sake!

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The debate over whether the show was faked isn’t something I care too much about; this was reality TV, people — it’s like VR, it’s still augmented.

This was camp, this was lore, this was a time — Punk’d was all of it.

Punk’d launched fashion trends, dating rumors, and infamous phrases. Ashton in a trucker hat made way for brands like John Deere, Ed Hardy, and Von Dutch to explode. Baby tees, distressed jeans, layered tops, seashell necklaces, and studded belts all blended into this “trying but not really trying” look.

WAIT…AM I BEING PUNK’D?

The phrase “Am I being Punk’d” was used everywhere — TV Shows, late night, movies (did Kutcher ever trademarked this phrase?)

It was the perfect reaction for anyone experiencing “first world problems.”

The idea that you deserved certain treatment, and that any deviation from that norm must mean you were secretly being messed with — there had to be hidden cameras, right?

These days, the same sentiment we watched celebrities experience has trickled down to the everyday person. We’re all on life’s hidden camera show now. Only now, the cameras aren’t hidden — they’re right out in the open. The instinct to pull out your phone to record an inconvenience is totally normal!

I’m not sure Punk’d could work today. We know too much about celebrities now.

With some of the biggest stars openly struggling with all kinds of issues, “pranking” them on a hidden camera show would likely get both parties tried in the court of public opinion and slapped with a lawsuit in one vicious cycle.

Plus, audiences today want carnage. A naked Dax Shepard jumping around in front of Jessica Alba just wouldn’t cut it.

Punk’d is a great relic of our past, and I, for one, am happy the trucker hats and Von Dutch are back!

Written by Teona Sasha

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Does my mixtape hold up? Were these songs worth cementing this whole occasion with? What exactly was my theme here? Was this a curated? Did I put enough thought in this? I go through track by track hoping to find the answers to all of my questions. Either way, it’s a time capsule into what was on my iPod.

Let me know what you did for your Sweet 16 and what you gave out to your guest. Didn’t have a party, great! Tell me about that too!

Watch So 2000 & Late on Substack and listen to it wherever you get podcast!

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The Black Eyed Peas became a global phenomenon that encapsulated everything the 2000s were about. It was a time when sounds, cultures, and fashion were blending together. Genres were starting to merge, and white artists were dressing up in tracksuits with gold door knockers, long nails, and backup dancers to match the culture they were “obsessed” with. Rock and pop artists alike were teaming up with hip-hop producers to create collaborations that would define the decade (think Jay-Z teaming up with Linkin Park, Gwen Stefani going solo and working with Pharrell, and Nelly Furtado with Timbaland).

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Starting off as a conscious hip-hop group, the Black Eyed Peas adapted to the times—and I’d even dare say, predicted the future. As I mentioned in the latest episode of my So 2000 & Late podcast, the Black Eyed Peas saw the electronic dance music wave making its way out of Europe and into the beating hearts of American ravers before the rest of the industry did. will.i.am’s production savvy puts him up there as one of the greatest producers in American pop music.

Another key to the group’s success was their dedication to the art of the music video. If you’re not going to commit to the bit, the energy won’t translate through the camera—and we’ll all feel that. Take the music video for Shut Up—a school play meets telenovela that perfectly captures the back-and-forth of the song’s lyrics! This group put their best acting foot forward. Don’t Phunk with My Heart—a mash-up of The Dating Game, The Gong Show, and Wheel of Fortune—needed full commitment! (Both videos were directed by The Malloys. I see a pattern here!) Music videos aren’t lost these days, but they’re so few and far between that I truly miss the time when we’d hang around the TV just to see what concepts artists would bring to life.

When Fergie went solo in 2006, she didn’t disappoint with her album or her music videos. London Bridge is an in-your-face record that demands a break from normality. The video was the perfect blend of a play on her royal last name and her “I’mma break the rules” attitude. But what was also sooo 2000s was her having a dedicated crew of themed background dancers—hers were Chicana-themed, reflecting her Hacienda Heights upbringing. A quick Google search tells me Hacienda Heights was dubbed the "Chicano Beverly Hills," so I guess that makes sense. Gwen Stefani was doing the same with her Harajuku Girls, and their dedication was heavy! It was a packaged deal.

The group’s fearlessness in experimenting was a common thread that pulled us through the 2000s, alongside artists like Outkast, Missy Elliott, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, and Busta Rhymes. (There are obviously so many more—calm your tits.) Their dedication to constantly reinventing themselves through visuals and sound cements their place in pop music history. Notice how everyone I just listed also devoted themselves to the art of the music video! I can’t say it enough—music videos define the success of a single.

Whether you only know the Black Eyed Peas from I Gotta Feeling or you’ve been a fan since the beginning, I think it’s fair to say we all come together for this song. Not one booty can stay seated when this track comes on. The genius of the opening—igniting that “tingling feeling” we all get when we know something good is about to happen—is captured perfectly in just 16 bars! Go ahead, play it for yourself, and tell me your mood didn’t change.

You felt that? That’s magic! That’s what makes this one of the best pop songs ever made. Charli XCX has expressed this sentiment in so many ways, and to me, she’s pop music’s headmaster. She loves the art form and has dedicated her entire career to it… but I digress.

However you feel about the Black Eyed Peas or pop music, you can’t deny that this group made a statement.

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I walked away from my episode of The Girls Next Door on my podcast So 2000 & Late wanting to keep going. I’ve read Holly Madison and Izabella St. James’ books, rewatched all six seasons of The Girls Next Door, and listened to Marston Hefner’s episodes on the Girls Next Level podcast. And yet, there’s still such a strong desire to understand who this man was and why he operated the way he did. After all that, I’m still left wanting more.

Here’s a full-scale look at what the deal was between him and the girlfriends: if you were asked to be a girlfriend, you were allowed to move into the mansion. The main girlfriend did not get her own room; she shared the bed and space with Hef in his bedroom. The rest of the rooms were along the same hall and unofficially represented how serious or involved a girlfriend was to him. The closer the room, the more he felt she was fulfilling her obligations as his girlfriend—so choose wisely!

What were these obligations? Participation in weekly mansion events, including multiple movie nights (of his choosing, usually old or sometimes popular films), game nights, weekly Sunday "fun in the sun" days, mansion parties, club outings a few times a week, a 9 PM curfew, and of course, sex. The club outings required the women to spend most of the day in beauty and hair prep, and they were required to meet downstairs for photo ops at a specific time. These images were used in the magazine and Hef’s personal scrapbooks. They received a weekly $2,000 cash allowance, which they had to ask for. According to Izabella St. James, this was also Hef’s opportunity to provide feedback on their participation as girlfriends.

If a girl went out of town or took time off from being a girlfriend for an approved reason, she wouldn’t receive her allowance. They were given cars, but over the years, the rules changed due to former girlfriends leaving as soon as they got a new car. Their beauty budgets were extensive but were later scaled down due to issues with salons, the girls, and the economy. They had access to specific cosmetic surgeries and procedures from a doctor on standby. They could request elaborate gifts for birthdays, and some girlfriends even had their kids move in, credit card and student loan debt paid off, and more. However, this varied by the era of girlfriends. The earliest ones received the most and had the highest budget. By the time Holly, Bridget, and Kendra came along, beauty budgets and allowances were reduced. They were also not allowed in the kitchen or butlers' stations or to fraternize with the butlers—a rule implemented after previous girlfriends had affairs with them.

Hef had strict standards for his girlfriends' appearances. No one old, overweight, or on drugs—despite multiple former girlfriends claiming he offered Quaaludes in the bedroom. Long hair was required, no body hair was allowed, and he absolutely hated red lipstick. Over time, the girlfriends created the “blonde bimbo” look and passed down these beauty standards. Big boobs, straight white teeth, slim noses, and the most platinum of blonde hair became the norm.

After Hef divorced Kimberly Conrad, the girlfriends became part of the “Hugh Hefner the Playboy” brand for the public eye. He understood that the lure of his lifestyle attracted people. The Playboy Mansion had been a well-known swingers' playground in the ’70s, but by the ’90s, he needed a rebrand. Instead of group love that was shared, he created group love centered around him. He often described his setup as a “happy family living in harmony.” But you, I, the girls, and Hef knew that wasn’t true. This was how he maintained control over the group, no matter its size.

The stories from Holly, Bridget, Kendra, and Izabella all sound the same—they wanted the girlfriend perks, and anyone who got in their way was taken down. Girls were outed for having boyfriends or not being dedicated enough. Some got themselves kicked out due to drug and alcohol problems. But almost every girlfriend had the same goal: make Playmate. Most achieved that status, got their new car, and then left. Holly describes that by the time Bridget and Kendra arrived, Hef was hesitant to put his girlfriends in the magazine. However, he ultimately did because it helped promote the show.

Holly goes into great detail about who she saw the real Hef to be behind closed doors, and yet, she still felt she didn’t know him at all. He was a highly particular man who used mind games, bouts of anger, crying, and manipulation through his close staff to get women to do what he wanted. It was bizarre. He wanted them to stay, to fall in line with his routine, rules, and lifestyle. Yet, he was constantly recruiting new women. If they left, it wasn’t a big deal—another woman would quickly take their place. He was a man of routine, and I believe the "heartbreak" he displayed when they left was just frustration with a break in that routine. As I mentioned on the show, he ate the same meals every day, designated each day of the week for specific tasks and activities, and had his meals pre-packed for restaurant outings. If anything disrupted his routine, he threw a fit. He had structure and control down to a science. That’s the duality of greatness—absolute genius paired with absolute weirdness.

I know the girlfriend perks sound amazing. A full-time staff, no job, a massive mansion, a private zoo, weekly parties, connections to big money and celebrities, a beauty requirement, and a weekly allowance—it doesn’t sound bad. So why feel bad for these women? Why care? You don’t have to. But aren’t you curious why they stayed? No money or perks could be worth the mental gymnastics required to live with a full-time staff, multiple girlfriends, and a boyfriend who manipulated them into giving him their utmost devotion. Right?

Personally, I can 100% relate to the psychological hold these women were under. I’ve been in familial, relational, and professional relationships that were manipulative, controlling, explosive, and exhausting. They didn’t involve a nude magazine brand, so my experience was different. But I understand the mindset of accepting that it’s okay to live that way. To not question authority. To follow the rules to avoid an outburst. To be financially dependent on someone who thinks you don’t deserve it, even when you follow their demands. To have your words twisted, your looks picked apart, your intelligence questioned. And I understand the bizarre difficulty of breaking free. When that treatment starts to feel like home, you begin seeking it in other relationships.

I can also relate to the idea of “being beautiful” while enduring all this. The assumption is that if you look good, nothing bad can be happening behind closed doors. You can’t be hot and in hell! But why can’t women who are beautiful and receiving “gifts” also be in toxic situations? Why can’t beauty exist alongside suffering? Why can’t a pretty girl be trapped in a situation that wasn’t presented in full truth? Why do people make huge mistakes and seek forgiveness, yet when sex, beauty, and fame are involved, that same grace doesn’t apply? I don’t have the answers, but I find it fascinating. I truly give it to these women—they lived an unusual life and chose an unconventional path but also have one of kind stories to tell because of it. Duality I guess.

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